*takes nudes in the Apple store*
thanks elevators for bringing me up when i was down
I don’t need to go to college I can learn anything I want through youtube tutorials
why is microwave time so much slower than regular time
when the girl who’s good at chemistry is out to steal your man
Wow I can’t believe the newspaper emoji actually says this
Yes not many people know this but it’s actually true.
MAY I TAKE YOUR HAT, SIR?
OH MY FUCKING GOD OKAY I WAS IN MY BIOLOGY LESSON JUST NOW AND WE WERE LEARNING ABOUT PLANT SEX ORGANS AND WE STARTED TALKING ABOUT CUCUMBERS AND WE MADE OUR TEACHER TYPE “WHAT SEX ARE CUCUMBERS?” INTO GOOGLE AN D SHE CLICKED ON THE FIRST LINK WITHOUT THINKING AND IT WAS A FUCKING GALLERY OF IMAGES OF SEXUAL PENETRATION USING CUCUMBERS AN D SHE SCREAMED AND SHE WAS TRYING TO GET I T OFF THE SCREEN AND I WAS FUCKING LAUGHING MY ASS OFF
*walks up to newborn baby* haha fuckin virgin
this is so unnecessary i want 12
safe sex is for losers (takes off knee pads and helmet)
get rich or cry tryin
i would so go on a walk with you